Who lives in a house like this?
Who lives in a house like this?

In Number 69 there lives a transvestite,
he's a man by day, but he's a woman at night.
There's a man in number 4, who swears he's Saddam Hussein,
says he's on a chore to start the third world war.

Oh, if you find the time, [bad word] and stay a while
in my beautiful neighbourhood.

In 110 they haven't paid the rent,
so there goes the TV with the repo men.
In 999 they make a living from crime,
the house is always empty, 'cos they're all doin' time.

Oh, if you find the time, [bad word] and stay a while
in my beautiful neighbourhood,
my neighbourhood,
my my my beautiful neighbourhood,
my neighbourhood,
my my my beautiful neighbourhood.

Who lives in a house like this?
Who lives in a house like this?

In number 18 there lives a big butch queen,
he's bigger than Tyson and he's twice as mean.
In 666 there lives a Mr. Miller,
he's our local vicar and a serial killer.

Oh, if you find the time, [bad word] and stay a while
in my beautiful neighbourhood,
my neighbourhood,
my my my beautiful neighbourhood,
my neighbourhood,
my my my beautiful neighbourhood.

Who lives in a house like this (who lives here, man?)
Who lives in a house like this?

Oh, they want to knock us down, 'cos they think we're scum.
But we will all be waiting when the [bad word] 
In a neighbourhood like this, you know, it's hard to survive,
so you'd [bad word] prepared, 'cos they won't take us alive!

Oh, if you find the time, [bad word] and stay a while
in my beautiful neighbourhood,
my neighbourhood,
my my my beautiful neighbourhood,
my neighbourhood,
my my my beautiful neighbourhood.