Thought I was lookin' good
So I cycled 'cross the neighbourhood
Was invited by a skinny girl
Into her high class world

Left my bicycle under the stairs
Laid my coat across the kosher chairs
Made my way across the crowded room
I had nothing to lose

My reception wasn't very keen
So turning on a friendly grin
Stood on the table with my glass of gin
And came straight to the point
 [bad word] 
I was glad [bad word] I'll be sad to go
So while I'm here
I'll have me a real good time

(repeat)

Dancing madly round the room, yeah
Singing loudly and sorta' out of tune
Was escorted by a friendly slag
'round the bedroom and back
Wandered across to the door
Missed my step and I fell on the floor.
Said one word and was asked to leave
Kinda' wish I was dead.
 [bad word] 

The skinny girl made it clear
That she only came here for the beer
The vicar simply reeked of gin
On my way home I happened to fall off my bicycle
(good party)
I was glad [bad word]  but I was also glad to get home