Are you there Evelyn?

Yes 
of course I am. 
I'm always here. 
What's the matter
Evelyn?

I'm frightened. 
It's that time of year again 
isn't it Evelyn?

Yes
it is that time of year again 
Evelyn.

Tell me once more how it all happened 
Evelyn.

Hush now. 
We don't talk about that 
because it makes us sad Evelyn

I won't be sad this time 
I promise. 
Please? 
Tell me again about the tragic events of September,
Evelyn.

The year is 1985
St. Elmo's Fire is at the top of the charts
the wreckage of the Titanic has just been discovered at the bottom of the Atlantic Ocean 
and on a small farm 
on the Kansas-Colorado boarder 
a young mother is about to give birth. 

The local doctor has predicted twins 
which gladdens the hearts of the woman and her husband 
who could certainly use the extra help around the farm.

But the birth does not go well. 

The terrified father drives his screaming 
hemorrhaging wife to the local clinic
a poorly funded facility housed in a converted airstream trailer. 
The presiding physician is Dr. Charlie von Coop 
a local denture maker of dubious training 
with eccentric religious beliefs.

The labor is long and painful 
and Louise Neville 
a Mennonite girl 
who had given up a promising career as a legal assistant 
to join her first and only love 
on [bad word] down farm 
that was his only inheritance 

(May her soul rest forever in peace)

is pronounced dead by the doctor 
at 11:23 A.M. 
on the eleventh day of September 
precisely 12 minutes after the birth of her twin daughters.

The girls are Parapagus Tripus Dibrachius twins 
conjoined at the side and sharing between them three legs
two arms 
two hearts 
three lungs
and a single liver. 
Without hesitating 
Dr. von Coop places the infants on the operating table 
muttering biblical quotations of doubtful accuracy 
the doctor leaves that trailer 
and returns with a gas powered chainsaw. 

The noise is deafening in the small space as he starts the engine 
and prepares for the grisly operation.
At this very moment 
Sheriff Wilbur Owens 
having noticed the Neville's car parked outside the clinic 
steps inside to see if could be of assistance. 
Seeing the crazed doctor hovering over the newborns 
the teeth of the chainsaw about to connect with their innocent flesh 
the valiant Sheriff draws his pistol and fires 
as the bullet pierces his heart 
Dr. von Coop emits a cry 
and stumbles backwards.

Samuel Neville a timid 
nervous man 
who wanted nothing more than a quiet country life with many children 
is still in a state of shock over the death of his young wife 
and the alarming physiology of his daughters 
when he is [bad word] in the neck 
by the chainsaw blade

Killing him instantly.

Distraught 
the good Sheriff takes the crying infants to his car. 
He radios back to the station where 
it is arranged for the twins to be admitted 
to the Bethany Center for Developmentally Disabled Youth in Topeka. 
Sheriff Owens decides to deliver the twins to the Bethany Center personally.

Less than an hour into the drive
an [bad word] [bad word] swerves 
crosses median
and strikes the Sheriff's car. 
The Sheriff is thrown into the windshield 
knocking him unconscious. 
He will die thirty minutes later from loss of blood. 
Meanwhile the world has [bad word] a sea of feathers 
as the [bad word] cargo of live chickens 
many among them now seriously injured or dead 
spill into the road. 

small awkward man limps out of the [bad word] cab 
and cautiously approaches the Sheriff's vehicle. 
The man's eyes focus on the twin girls 
calmly look up at him from the back seat. 
Ignoring the dying sheriff 
the [bad word] driver lifts the infants into his arm 
and sets them in the cab of the dama