1. I From City That Broke Me, Three Rivers Of Stagnant Water
i long for a rest that knows no end. [bad word] from this place to quietly begin again.

i am the given up, i'm finished. i'm the dead horse i'm
punching. singing my name to the coward's song.
erasing everything that made me, i've severed the ties.

i gathered my things into two separate stacks:
everything i love and leave it behind.

it [bad word] in calamity and history. a broken
mouth choking on every word. i'm saying nothing.
this changes nothing. weak wrists willed the accidents.
this is the hanging, the moving on, there'll be no quiet
here until i'm gone. i feel outnumbered. these three
rivers of stagnant water. now i'm surrounded and it's
flooding over. it's flooding over in rain. it took the fragile,
it took the wounded. there is no movement here.

as i try to finally surrender these ghosts to the death
of my past life, i realize. they're meant to hurt.

my fever broke as i hit my stride
and the cityscape was just inches high.

this is the clamor. the beating of hearts collapsing with
cancer, the crying out from people still lost in the flood,
the mocking claque as they rise to cheer the coward's
song, as they sing, as i sing, as we sing...
medicate the loss.

2. [bad word] & Empty
i wanted to go by your house last night but i'm not big on
social scenes. plus it sucks, being the only one who
doesn't drink. thought maybe i could blend into the walls,
but the packs of the hipper dressed just make me feel
obvious. feeling outcast by a bunch of outcasts,
doesn't make any sense.

i hate myself enough. i don't need to feel any worse.

so instead, i went home. and i let the television scream.
and i woke up this morning, and i felt like [bad word] for letting
another one go by unlived.

why am i so scared to make new friends?
why am i so afraid to let them in?

an arm's length at all times, we learned to walk
sideways to hide our fragile honesty.

why am i so scared of being weird?
not everything fits in straight little lines.

now nothing touches us anymore, we've stranded
our ghosts. now where are our shields.

why am i so scared to live my life?
why do i give up and not even try?

we thin the blood to [bad word] with killing
ourselves, emptiness has such quiet hands.

why am i so scared to be close to you?
why do you give me everything?

so let's thin our blood and let our hearts feel
tangible again, we're tired of lying and we know
that tonight we'll hang by our honesty.