On the first day of Christmas my [bad word] love gave to me
partridge in a pear tree

On the second day of Christmas my [bad word] love gave to me
Two turtle doves
And a partridge in a pear tree

On the fourth day of Christmas (On the third day of Christmas)
my [bad word] love gave to me
Five golden rings
Four calling birds
Three french hens
Two turtle doves
And a partridge in a pear tree

On the ninth day of Christmas (On the eighth day of Christmas) my [bad word] love gave to me
Nine ladies dancing (Eight maids a milking)
Eight ladies dancing (Seven maids a milking)
Seven ladies dancing (Six maids a milking)
Five -- You better not shout, you better not cry! You better not -- in a pear tree!

On the ninth.. (No!)
On the eighth.. (N-o!)

Deck the halls with boughs of holly! (On the seventh day of Christmas my [bad word] love gave to me)
(Seven swans a swimming Six geese a laying)
Five golden rings!!
Four calling birds
Three french hens
Two turtle doves (Here [bad word] a wassailing)
The boar's head in hand bear I (among the leaves so green)
Bedeck'd with bays
And a partridge in a pear tree

On the eleventh day of Christmas my [bad word] love gave to me
Eleven pipers piping (Ding)
Ten lords a-leaping (Dong)
Nine ladies dancing (Ding)
Eight maids a-milking (Dong)
Seven swans a-swimming (Ding)
Six geese-a laying (Dong)
Five golden rings,
Four calling birds,
Three french hens,
Two turtle doves, [bad word] the red-nosed reindeer!

On the twelfth day of Christmas my [bad word] love --
I had a little dreidel
I made it out of clay!
And when its dry and ready
With dreidel I shall..... play..

Dreidel, dreidel, dreidel - everyone sing with me -
I made it out of clay
And when its dry and ready
With dreidel I shall play!

...yeah, it's still doesn't work...

On the twelfth day of Christmas my [bad word] love gave to me,
Do do do do do dooo~
Do do do do do do do dooo~
On the twelfth day my [bad word] love gave to me~
Twelve [bad word] drumming like a nemphis upon the Sargent
Eleven pipers piping~!
Ten lords a-leaping~
Nine ladies dancing, they were dancing for me~
Eight maids a-milking and they were milking just for me~
I had Christmas down in Africa~!
I had Christmas down in Africa~!
I had Christmas down in Africa~! (Five golden riiings!)
I had Christmas down in Africa~! (Fiiive golden riiings!)
I had Christmas down in Africa~! (Fiiiive golden riiings!)
Gonna deck the halls and do the things we never had~
Partridge in a big pear tree~
Partridge in a big pear tree~