Dear little Alice, please don't cry
Tears of woe won't help you get by
I know that you feel scared, lost and alone
Since you cannot find your way back home

Have strange things happened?
Is there anything I need to know?
Did you taste things that make you shrink or grow?
Did you suffer any, please say it isn't so!

I will help you out, just wait and see
You'd be glad that you found a cat like me
I'll show you around this fascinating place
Only if you keep a smile on your face

No more reading signs that say "This way" or "Yonder"
Now you don't have to sit down and try to ponder
Which way should you go, you ask?
I seem to find that a fairly simple task

Just follow my grin, for you will know soon
How much it looks like a glowing crescent moon
Don't be afraid, please follow my advice
Surely you don't even need to think twice...

Oh look, there's the Queen all dressed in red,
Hear how she screams "Off with your head!"
Those are the very words that everyone dreads
Would you like to keep your head?

Quick, [bad word]  The cards are after [bad word] through this door, I'll protect you!
Dry your eyes, Alice because there's no time to cry
You'll see me again as the [bad word] flying by
And just when you think that this might be the end
Never forget, that in your heart, you'll always be my friend...