The Gospel according to Tony Day 
The Gospel according to Tony Day
The Gospel according to Tony Day
If I find a girl he'll take her away
Rotten Tony!

The Gospel according to Brendan O'Lear 
The Gospel according to Brendan O'Lear
The Gospel according to Brendan O'Lear
If I buy him a Scotch, he'll buy me a beer
Tight fist, friends

The Gospel according to Pat Hewitt 
The Gospel according to Pat Hewitt
The Gospel according to Pat Hewitt
If it's written on a sweater then I'd better not, you do it

Ah
Got to, got to

Your mind, blow i
Blow it

The Gospel according to Marianne Brent 
The Gospel according to Marianne Brent
The Gospel according to Marianne Brent
She'll be mine if I pay the rent
Good old Marianne, who needs friends, oh

That's the [bad word] time, take a look at my life and you'll see
Take a quick, butchers, rotten Mary down the oak
Wouldn't give me two pence for him