[Eminem]
May I have your attention please?
May I have your attention please?
Will the real Slim Shady please stand up?
I repeat, will the real Slim Shady please stand up?
We`re gonna have a problem here..

Y`all act like you never seen a white person before
Jaws all on the floor like Pam, like Tommy just burst in the door
and started whoopin her [bad word] worse than before
they first were divorce, throwin her over furniture (Ahh!)
It`s the return of the... "Ah, wait, no way, you`re kidding,
he didn`t just say what I think he did, did he?"
And Dr. Dre said... nothing you idiots!
Dr. Dre`s dead, he`s locked in my basement! (Ha-ha!)
Feminist women love Eminem
"Slim Shady, I`m sick of him
Look at him, walkin around grabbin his you-know-what
Flippin the you-know-who," "Yeah, but he`s so cute though!"
Yeah, I probably got a couple of screws up in my head loose
But no worse, than what`s goin on in your parents` bedrooms
Sometimes, I wanna get on TV and just let loose, but can`t
but it`s cool for Tom Green to hump a dead moose
"My bum is on your lips, my bum is on your lips"
And if I`m lucky, you might just give it a little kiss
And that`s the message that we deliver to little kids
And expect them not to know what a woman`s clitoris is
Of course they gonna know what intercourse is
By the time they hit fourth grade
They got the Discovery Channel don`t they?
"We ain`t nothing but mammals.." Well, some of us cannibals
who cut other people open like cantaloupes [*SLURP*]
But if we can hump dead animals and antelopes
then there`s no reason that a man and another man can`t elope
But if you feel like I feel, I got the antidote
Women wave your pantyhose, sing the [bad word] and it goes

 [bad word]  Eminem (repeat 2X)]

I`m Slim Shady, yes I`m the real Shady
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
So won`t the real Slim Shady please stand up,
please stand up, please stand up?

[Eminem]
Will Smith don`t gotta cuss in his raps to sell his records;
well I do, so [bad word] him and [bad word] you too!
You think I give a [bad word] about a Grammy?
Half of you critics can`t even stomach me, let alone stand me
"But Slim, what if you win, wouldn`t it be weird?"
Why? So you guys could just lie to get me here?
So you can, sit me here next to Britney Spears?
 [bad word]  Christina Aguilera better switch me chairs
so I can sit next to Carson Daly and Fred Durst
and hear `em argue over who she gave head to first
You little [bad word]  put me on blast on MTV
"Yeah, he`s cute, but I think he`s married to Kim, hee-hee!"
I should download her audio on MP3
and show the whole world how you gave Eminem VD [*AHHH!*]
I`m sick of you little girl and boy groups, all you do is annoy me
so I have been sent here to destroy you [*bzzzt*]
And there`s a million of us just like me
who cuss like me; who just don`t give a [bad word] like me
who dress like me; walk, talk and act like me
and just might be the next best thing but not quite me!

 [bad word] 

[Eminem]
I`m like a head trip to listen to, cause I`m only givin you
things you joke about with your friends inside your living room
The only difference is I got the balls to say it
in front of y`all and I don`t gotta be false or sugarcoated at all
I just get on the mic and spit it
and whether you like to admit it [*ERR*] I just [bad word] it
better than ninety percent of you rappers out can
Then you wonder how can kids eat up these albums like valiums
It`s funny; cause at the rate I`m goin when I`m thirty
I`ll be the only person in the nursin home flirting
Pinchin nurses asses when I`m jackin off with Jergens
And I`m jerkin but this whole bag of Viagra isn`t working
And every single person is a Slim Shady lurkin
He could be workin at Burger King, spittin on your onion rings
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