It's a mad, mad, mad, mad world
In France the girls wear scanties
While on lamb chops they put panties
I'm telling you it's a mad, mad, mad, mad world

Japanese named Luey
Says the Chinese hate chop suey
Without a doubt
It's a mad, mad, mad, mad world

The only thing you are sure of
Is that nothing is sure
Have a ball, live it up, only fools give it up
Toujours the amour, but toujours

So be a happy gaffer,
Be a screamer, be a laugher
Let boys be [bad word] and say, "What the hey"
It's a mad, mad, mad, mad world

My dear old Uncle Herman
Says that French Toast should be German
Jawohl, that's right
It's a mad, mad, mad, mad world

I know it may sound jerky
But in Turkey who eats turkey
Yes, yes, confess
It's a mad, mad, mad, mad world

Out traffic is so congested
Mass confusion on wheels
But Detroit is adroit, what they'll do in Detroit
Is make bigger automobiles

So be a happy fellow
Be a clown, boy, Punchinello
Get off the shelf and enjoy yourself
It's a mad, mad, mad, mad
It's a mad, it's a mad, it's a mad, it's a mad world!