Sit Back Now
Let Me Tell You Tale
Where Justice Does Not Prevail

About An Ill-Fated Life
So Very Full Of Strife
Where Two Wrongs Do Not Make Right

So

When I Was Born
I Did Surely Scorn
My Proud Parent's Name
Then Their Lives Went Down The Drain
Drove Them Insane
My Birth Was Curse
I Bit The Nurse
Oh, But I Love The Worst
I Deserve To Be Slowly Submersed
Dried Out Then Laid In Hearse

When I Was Two
I Poured Super Glue
Into My Fathers Hair
As He Sat Unaware
In His Arm Chair
Much To His Dismay
Had To Cut It All Away
Oh, But It Felt Great
I Deserve To Cut And Filleted
Then Tossed About In Disarray
Until The Pieces Melt Away

I Not Bad Man
Even Though I Do Bad Things
Very Bad Things
Such Horrible Things
But It's Not Quite What It Seems
Not Quite What He Seems
Not Quite What I Seem
Ah, [bad word] It's Exactly What It Seems

When I Was Four
I'd Wait By The Door
With Knife In My Hand
And Most Devious Plan
It Would Be Quite Grand
As The Mail Fell Through The Slot
The Sharp Edge He Got
Oh, But I Love The Thought
I Deserve To Be Tied In Knot
Broken Bones And Blood Clots

When I Was Six
I Used To Trick
The Next Door Neighbors Son
In The Woods We [bad word] Time For Fun
Hide N Seek Has Cost
He Would Be Forever Lost
Oh, But I Love To Scoff
I Deserve To Have My Head Lopped Off
Hidden And Covered In Moss
Until This Memory's Forgot

I Not Bad Man
Even Though I Do Bad Things
Very Bad Things
Such Horrible Things
But It's Not Quite What It Seems
Not Quite What He Seems
Not Quite What I Seem
Ah, [bad word] It's Exactly What It Seems

When I Was Eight
I Used To Hate
The Color Of My House
So As Quiet As Mouse
I Burned It Down
To The Ground
When No One Was Around
Oh, But I Love The Sound
I Deserve To Be Quickly Put Down
Rotting Six-Feet Underground

When I Was Ten
I Used To Pretend
To Drown In The Sea
Till [bad word] To Rescue Me
Then Preceed
To Laugh In Their Face
Such Disgrace
Oh, But I Love The Taste
I Deserve To Have My Brains Displaced
All Over The Fireplace
Until This Life Has Been Erased

I Not Bad Man
Even Though I Do Bad Things
Very Bad Things
Such Horrible Things
But It's Not Quite What It Seems
*Not Quite What He Seems*
Not Quite What I Seem
Ah, [bad word] It's Exactly What It Seems

When I Was Twelve
I Used To Delve
Into Evil Schemes
Just To Elicit Screams
Boost My Self Esteem
Pushed My Sister Down Well
She Just Fell
Oh, But I Love To Dwell
I Deserve To Roast Deep Down In [bad word] Where No One Can Hear Me Yell

When I Was Fourteen
Nothing Much Happened

Well
There Was That One Time

I Not Bad Man
Even Though I Do Bad Things
Very Bad Things
Such Horrible Things
But It's Not Quite What It Seems
Not Quite What He Seems
Not Quite What I Seem
Ah, [bad word] It's Exactly What It Seems

When I Was Sixteen
Life Was Frightening
My Brother Was Quite Dull
So With Laughter In My Skull
Pushed Him In Hole
Then Buried Him Alive
He Barely Survived
Oh, But I Love The Cries
I Deserve To Be Battered And Fried
In An Electric Chair That's Set On High

Now That I'm Eighteen
I Still Hate Things
From This Padded Cell I Call My Home
No Friends, No Phone
No Life To Call My Own

Here I Will Lie
Until The Very Day I Die
Until My Blood Begins To Dry
And I Return To The Darkness From Whence I Came

So

I Not Bad Man
Even Though I Do Bad Things
Very Bad Things
Such Horrible Things
But It's Not Quite What It Seems

Not Quite What I Seem
Ah, [bad word] I'm Exactly What I Seem