Thug: Hey babe, is this where the party is? 
No, no, you don't know me, 
but a guy told me there was a party up here, you know? 

Nina: I know your face. 

Thug: Yeah, well look up the [bad word]  number. 

Nina: So are you [bad word]  

Thug: Eventually babe, eventually. 

Nina: Well then you [bad word] right now. 

Thug: Right. 

On Portobello Road Road we've got a nice little squat 
It's a secret nightclub 'cuz we're so smart 
Our landlord is Jesus Christ and Mickey Mouse 
'Cuz we're the most happening green house 
All the newest bands are playing 
You don't have to pay to get in 
I'm gonna be the host 
Me, my friend and the holy ghost 
The Mutoid [bad word] is on the [bad word]  [bad word] from another planet 
And they're so much fun 
And Eddie Rockwell just got a brand new rap (?) 
We got funk in Moscow, ????? 

Where's the party? 
You know that there's a party 
So where's the party, man? 
You know that there's a party 

All the groovy kids from Milan's (???), they're on the go 
Pop in after eleven 
The green house is like heaven 
Zarah and Janette brought their newest pet 
From the Battersea Dog Home 
It's no dog, it's a black cat 

What you gonna do on Saturday night  [bad word] to my place feel all right 
Wear your best suit 
Make yourself into a mutant 
You better dress to impress  [bad word] along and sing this song 

Where's the party? 
You know that there's a party 
So where's the party? 
You know that there's a party 
So where's the party? 
You know that there's a party 

All the newest bands are playing 
You don't have to pay to get in 
I'm gonna be the host 
Me, my friend and the holy ghost 
If you want excitement, it's for free 
If you need [bad word] to me [bad word] with me [bad word] to me 

Oh good gosh! The house is tilting 
Now the police are trying to fit in 
When they see my friendly smiling face 
They decide at once to leave the place 

What you gonna do on Saturday night 
You [bad word] to my place feel all right 
Wear your best suit 
Turn yourself into a mutant 
You better dress to impress  [bad word] along and sing this song 

Where's the party? 
You know that there's a party 
So where's the party? 
You know that there's a party