[bad word] just once a year (I got a baby doll) 
With all its yuletide joy and cheer (I got a football) 
But there's one thing I'd like to say 
Is that I hate Christmas day (I got a rock) 

It's time for everybody to have a christmas party
Everyone but me, I'll step outside 
Boycott your office party
No secret Santa for me
Mistletoe makes me sneeze anyway
'Cause I don't wanna go, where happy days are snow 
I'd rather stay where 
Frosty melts in the sun
July 4 parade
Lynchburg lemonade
An alcohol-a-day by the pool in the sun (now everybody sing)

Deck the halls with bells of holly 
'Tis the season to be jolly but
'Cause I hate Christmas 
I'm glad it [bad word] one time a year 

Its time for everybody to head out Christmas shopping
Everyone but me I'll stay inside
No presents under your tree that have a nametag for me
And it makes my gifts so easy to hide 
I don't wanna go, where shopping lines are slow
I rather stay at home with the frosty cold one
bud on ice in may, a lazy summer day
An alcohol-a-day by the pool in the sun (now everybody sing)

Deck the halls with bells of holly 
'Tis the season to be jolly but
'Cause I hate Christmas 
I'm glad it [bad word] one time a year 

It was the night before Christmas and all through the house
All the creatures was chillin' like Flint drinkin' stout
I woke from my sleep, heard [bad word] the boom
I knew that Santa would [bad word]  soon
On Dascher on [bad word]  on Blitzen
I yelled "shut up ya'll", but they wouldn't listen
And then he came down with his belly of jello
He says, "where the ladies at cuz I'm a real jolly fellow"
Then he gave me a wink and was quick out of sight
"Merry Christmas to all, and to all a super deeky duper fly night"

(Now everyone - sing) 
Deck the halls with bells of holly 
'Tis the season to be jolly but
'Cause I hate Christmas 
I'm glad it [bad word] one time a year (one more time, like you mean it) 

Deck the halls with bells of holly 
'Tis the season to be jolly but (yes) 
'Cause I hate Christmas 
I'm glad it [bad word] one time a year 
'Cause I hate Christmas I'm glad it [bad word] one time a year 
'Cause I hate Christmas I'm glad it [bad word] one time a year
(Deck the halls with bells of holly, la-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la)
(Shut up, shut up, shut up)