I don't know how I can control this increasing hole in my gut. When I sigh more than I speak it's hard to find the joy in anything. No matter how many miles I put between us the memories are still there with all the childish bull [bad word] that made you leave before. I started strong out of the gate, but I lost myself along the way. Erase these fresh feelings from my head. Erase every [bad word] letter you've still never read. I reach out across the bed but you're not there. I ask myself, why did I wake up alive? I hate myself and I owe that to you.