Inside the pain, I count how many breaths I have left
Inside the pain, I count how many heartbeats I have left
Inside the pain, I feel the lack of impulse in my flesh
Inside the pain, I have no strength to breathe in the air
Inside the pain, no more caressing spiked memories

I miss you
Or maybe I don’t
I know you would like me to

Insides [bad word] with the vice of hopeless thoughts
Look at what you’ve done don’t turn away from my corpse
My existence smashed against the wall
See how fast it starts to [bad word] 

Why me?

Insides [bad word] with the vice of hopeless thoughts
Look at what you’ve done don’t turn away from my corpse
My existence smashed against the wall
Be transparent something I can easily ignore

When unrelenting voices
Try to exert control
Sit by the river
And watch the bodies flow

In prayer
Fold your hands
In prayer
Bowels burn
In prayer
All my faith
In prayer

Multiple collecting of self
Putting pieces together
Something finished
To be a human as expected
Uniform, a closed constellation
Fixed pattern of hemoglobin

Insides [bad word] with the vice of hopeless thoughts
Look at what you’ve done don’t turn away from my corpse
My existence smashed against the wall
See how fast it starts to [bad word]