Cabin Pressure - S04 - E01 - Timbuktu (исполнитель: John Finnemore)
This week, Timbuktu! MARTIN: Do take your time, Douglas. Still everything to play for. (Gleefully) I’m only twenty-six points ahead of your three points! (He giggles.) But-but I have every confidence you’re about [bad word] roaring back! DOUGLAS: Yes, all right. MARTIN: But I am gonna have to press you for an answer, I’m afraid. DOUGLAS (sulkily): I don’t know. At twenty thousand feet, I suppose about two hundred knots? MARTIN: Ooh, what a pity! It’s a lovely guess, but I’m afraid the answer on the card was two hundred and four knots! I win again! So that’s Martin on twenty-nine; Douglas ... oh! Still on three ... (he chuckles) ... as we head into round two. DOUGLAS: That was one round?! MARTIN: Oh, don’t worry, don’t worry. Round two’s much more fun. We say a fond farewell to the flight manual ... DOUGLAS: Thank God. MARTIN: ... and we [bad word] instead our very good friend the operations manual! DOUGLAS (protesting): No! No, I’m sorry, I’m done. MARTIN: No-no, fair’s fair, Douglas. You promised if I joined in with Flight Deck Buckaroo, I could pick the next game. DOUGLAS: But I hate this game! MARTIN: Yes, and I hate Flight Deck Buckaroo. DOUGLAS: How can you hate Flight Deck Buckaroo? It’s a terrific game! And it’s educational. MARTIN: There is nothing educational about seeing who can disable the most [bad word] without setting off the recorded warning. DOUGLAS: Yes there is! You find out all the things you don’t really need! Like altimeters. MARTIN: No, this is educational. So, [bad word] to round two of Beat the Manuals! (Flight deck door opens.) ARTHUR: Hello, chaps. Any teas or coffees? DOUGLAS: Oh, thank God! ARTHUR: Oh. Sorry, Douglas, you should [bad word] MARTIN: Actually, we’re fine, Arthur. We-we’ll be landing in twenty minutes. ARTHUR: Oh, right-o. Oh, and a message from Mum. Er, she says how long until we land? DOUGLAS: ... Right. (Flight deck door opens again.) CAROLYN: Drivers, how long ’til we land? ARTHUR: I’m asking them, Mum! CAROLYN: Not quickly enough. MARTIN: We’ve just started the descent, Carolyn, so about twenty minutes? CAROLYN: Excellent. Now, Douglas, I am having lunch with Herc. Can you give Arthur a lift home? DOUGLAS: Sorry. Happy though I always am to pick up the pieces around your hectic love life, I’m afraid as soon as we land I’m driving to Twickenham. I’ve got tickets for [bad word] World Cup final. ARTHUR: Cup final? But ... doesn’t that mean it’s Birling Day? MARTIN: Oh, Carolyn. Haven’t you told him? ARTHUR: Told me what? MARTIN: Arthur, there isn’t going to be a Birling Day this year. ARTHUR (high-pitched in indignation): What?! Why not?! MARTIN: Because this year the final is in Twickenham. ARTHUR: Well, so? CAROLYN: So, Mr. Birling lives in Sus. To get to [bad word] he would have to drive through Twickenham; and while he certainly has more money than sense, I don’t think anyone has that much more. ARTHUR (disappointed): Oh, no. I love Birling Day. MARTIN: Me too. DOUGLAS: Do you? MARTIN: Well, no, but I could do with the money. DOUGLAS: [bad word] And I wouldn’t say no to a free bottle of Talisker. CAROLYN: The bottles of expensive whisky I provide for Mr. Birling’s exclusive use are not ‘free’, Douglas. They are stolen from me. DOUGLAS: And therefore free to me. MARTIN (into radio): [bad word] Tower, this is Golf Echo Romeo Tango India established on the ILS. [bad word] ATC (over radio): ’Ello, ’ello, is it a bird, is it a plane? No! It’s ... oh, no wait, it is technically a plane. DOUGLAS: Hello, Karl. MARTIN: [bad word] Tower, please confine air [bad word] to standard phraseology. KARL: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Wind two eighty at [bad word] three-six clear to land; all the usual jazz. MARTIN: Roger. Clear to land, three-six. KARL: So-o-o, did you have a lovely time in Luton? DOUGLAS: How could one not? It’s a palace of pleasure. MARTIN: I