You ain't Dolly
 And you ain't Porter
 She's a little bit fuller
 And you're a whole lot shorter
 Let's dance all night
 And fill the jukebox full of quarters
 Cause you ain't Dolly
 No, and you ain't Porter

 Well I noticed you right off the bat in those cowboy boots
 Who couldn't help but see you in that rhinestone suit
 That's cause I'm the reigning queen of karaoke night
 Well if I get [bad word] enough to sing, [bad word] I just might

 Hey now, don't you worry cowboy, cause I'll get you through
 We'll sing a cheating song just like they used to do

 Cause you ain't Dolly
 And you ain't Porter
 She's a little bit fuller
 Yeah, but you're a whole lot shorter
 Let's drink all night
 And fill the jukebox full of quarters
 Cause you ain't Dolly
 And you ain't Porter

 You'll probably see me country singing on The Voice someday
 Yeah and I'm the guy they wrote about in 50 Shades of Grey
 Why don't [bad word] on back to my place and you can have your way
 Well baby that sounds tempting, but I just can't stay
 Oh we won first prize cowboy, let's just split the dough
 Honey I will always love you, but we'll never know

 Cause you ain't Dolly
 And you ain't Porter
 She's a little bit fuller
 Yeah, and you're a whole lot shorter
 We danced all night and filled the jukebox full of quarters
 Cause you ain't Dolly
 And you ain't Porter, no
 No, you ain't Dolly
 And you ain't Porter