Where will he get those toys
For all them girls and boys
What is there for Santa Clause to do

Hes feeling helpless now
The cause of many a row
These hard financial times affect him too

The elves had had enough
Less than minimum wage is tough
So saint nick had sent them on their way

With no one to assist,
Bills longer than the naughty list
How on earth would poor Santa Clause pay

Children all over the world, all countries, all races
Wake up demember 25th with disappointed faces
None of them with a clue what poor Saint Nick has been through
Underneath the Christmas tree is an I.O.U
 [bad word] --
Spare a thought for Santa Clause this year
Wont hear a ho ho ho exchange rates low low low
Its pretty hard to spread that Christmas cheer
Hes trying to make it better, he goes through all the letters
Molly wants a dolly and John wants a tank
Well thats all good and jolly kids, 
but my children there is just no money in the North Pole Bank

lot on Santas plate, 
Mrs. Clause says lose weight
But all this wasnt good for santys head

That clunky old time sleigh,
Was really past its day so Santa clause he bought a Porshe instead

Borrowed the money [bad word] and now hes charging interest rates,
After being made redundant him and Nick no longer mates

The systems falling apart, the children still in his heart,
Oh where did this whole thing start?

Children all over the world, all countries, all races
Wake up demember 25th with disappointed faces
None of them with a clue what poor Saint Nick has been through
Underneath the Christmas tree is an I.O.U
 [bad word] --
Spare a thought for Santa Clause this year
Wont hear a ho ho ho exchange rates low low low
Its pretty hard to spread that Christmas cheer
Hes trying to make it better, he goes through all the letters
Molly wants a dolly and John wants a tank
Well thats all good and jolly kids, 
but my children there is just no money in the North Pole Bank

He says get out of my way
Said I need a drink
Sits down with a lager and a mince pie and that man begins to think

SANTAS CLEVER MAN
Hes got a CLEVER PLAN
very very clever plan indeed [bad word] simply take the toys
From OTHER girls and boys

*bridge*
Puts the key in the ignition and off he goes
The Porshe flies through the air as it snows and snows

Ann wants a Barbie doll, Mary has one of those
The brother of Ann has an action man be sure to rob that while you can!

The fat boy down the road, he wants a rocking horse
Does the boy next door to him have one of those oh yes oh yes he does of course

Satisfies the kiddies, with not a penny to pay,
Move over baby Jesus, hes the saviour of the day

So we can all celebrate Christmas this year
Wont hear a ho ho ho exchange rates still quite low
But its not hard to spread that Christmas cheer
He tried to make it better, he went through all the letters
Molly wants a dolly and John wants a tank
Well thats all good and jolly kids, 
but my children there is just no money in the North Pole Bank