Hey dude, we get it, you're cooler than us
 You drove your father's El Camino while we all took the bus
 There was a time, there was a place when you meant something to me
 But time has shown and now I know that we were wrong and you will always be a prick
 fake, your parents' greatest mistake
 You're the height of all douche-baggery, it's too much to take
 But [bad word] you look so cool in steel-point shoes
 And when you've got so much ed hardy it must be hard for you to choose

 Cause you're your own biggest fan and the only one you've got
 Nobody think it's cool when you peel out in the parking lot
 Of your high school where you graduated six years ago
 Hey dude, hey bro, you will always be a douchebag
 (douche, douche, douche, douche, douchebag)
 You will always be a douchebag
 (douche, douche, douche, douche, douchebag)
 You will always be a douchebag
 (douche, douche, douche, douche, douchebag)
 You will always be a douchebag
 (douche, douche, douche, douche, douchebag)

 Hey bro, we get it, your style is sick
 I know cause you went shirtless in your profile pic
 You took it off while at a party to show your tattoos
 At the beer pong table where you never lose

 Cause you're your own biggest fan and the only one you've got
 Nobody think it's cool when you peel out in the parking lot
 Of your high school where you graduated six years ago
 Hey dude, hey bro, you will always be a douchebag
 (douche, douche, douche, douche, douchebag)
 You will always be a douchebag
 (douche, douche, douche, douche, douchebag)

 There's a nine in ten chance you've got a tribal tattoo
 Girl says [bad word] that boy can dance, now he's a rival to you
 Hit the beach but never swim wearing jeans in the gym
 In to every club you go it's fourloko, fourloko

 Take a protein shake with a jager bomb shot
 Tell your best friend Blake you think his mother is hot (his mother is hot)
 Drinking Jose all day party in here
 You drink mad beers

 Every night I pray to God that you never reproduce
 The last thing that we need on this earth is someone like you
 It's not high school, man, you graduated six years ago
 Hey dude, hey bro, you will always be a douchebag
 (douche, douche, douche, douche, douchebag)
 You will always be a douchebag
 (douche, douche, douche, douche, douchebag)
 You will always be a douchebag
 (douche, douche, douche, douche, douchebag)
 You will always be a douchebag
 (douche, douche, douche, douche, douchebag)

 Dude! (Dude!)
 I'm not your bro
 (I'm not your bro)
 Dude! (Dude!)
 I'm not your bro-o-o-o
 Dude! (Dude!)
 I'm not your bro
 (I'm not your bro)
 Dude! (Dude!)
 I'm not your bro-o-o-o