You pull out your photos of your wedding in the spring
And you're confronted by your double chin
And your bald spot glistening
You could get a membership at the fitness-hut down the road
Or you could pick your mouse up and slim yourself down
And even give yourself afro
Your high school reunion [bad word] next Friday
And you know everyone will ask to see some
Pictures of the babies that you've made
But the problem is your kid's head is big
I mean, we're talking alien size here
But just cut and paste a hat or at least a do-rag
And it won't seem so severe [bad word] ]
Photoshop your memories
picture is worth a thousand words
So a few white lies shouldn't hurt
Your birthday, this past Monday
Was a fun day, except for one thing
Your mother-in-law, who makes your skin crawl
Stuck her face in every frame
You'd prefer to remember
That day without her tattooed brow
The simplest solution: decrease the resolution
And crop that woman out
Photoshop your memories
Your real life may be subpar
But you can be
Who you want people to think you are
Make yourself thin
Give yourself abs
Remove that mole
Say no to crack
Say you went to the Alps
In a luxury car
With a Swedish model
Just be all you want
People to you think you are