Kids if you want some fun
Mr. LaPage is your man
He's always laughing, having fun
Showing his films in the [bad word] on [bad word] on
Soon you will be eighteen
I think you know what I mean
Don't tell your mama
Your daddy or mama
They'll never know where you been
 [bad word] ]
Everyone's gone to the movies
Now we're alone at last

Listen to what I say
He wants to show you the way
Right down the hallway with open arms
To teach you a new game to [bad word] on [bad word] on
Soon it will be too late
Bobbing for apples can wait
We know you're used to sixteen or more
Sorry we only have eight
 [bad word] 

Kids if you want some fun
See what you never have seen
Take off your cheaters and sit right down
Start the projection machine
 [bad word]