If I were a guitar,
I'd like to be played by BB King
If I were a little dog, [bad word] Thomas could walk me
Oh, but I'm a man,
Who needs to be loved, baby,
I'm a man, honey,
Needs to be needed,
I can think of nobody, that I want to need me
Better than you, baby

If I were a song,
I'd like to be sung by the Rolling Stones
If I were a dance floor,
James Brown could mash potatoes on me all night long
But I'm a man -
Needs someone to cook my favourite dish
I'm a man, honey,
Who needs to grant someone's every wish
And I can think of nobody's wish I'd like to grant, honey,
Better than yours, baby

And if I were a baseball,
I'd like to be hit by Willie Mays
If I were a silly grin,
I'd like to be worn on Roger Miller's face
But I'm a man, 
Who needs to be loved,
I'm a man, baby, 
Who needs to be wanted,
And I can think of nobody that I want to want me
Better than you, baby