[bad word] (2x):]
Hi! My name is.. (what?) My name is.. (who?)
My name is.. [scratches] Slim Shady
Hi! My name is.. (huh?) My name is.. (what?)
My name is.. [scratches] Slim Shady

Ahem.. excuse me!
Can I have the attention of the class for one second?

[Eminem:]
Hi kids! Do you like violence? (Yeah yeah yeah!)
Wanna see me stick Nine Inch Nails through each one of my eyelids? (Uh-huh!)
Wanna copy me and do exactly like I did? (Yeah yeah!)
Try 'cid and get [bad word] up worse that my life is? (Huh?)
My brain's dead weight, I'm trying to get my head straight
But I can't figure out which Spice Girl I want to impregnate (Ummmm..)
And Dr. Dre said, "Slim Shady you a basehead!"
Uh-uhhh! "So why's your face red? Man you wasted!"
Well since age twelve, I've felt like I'm someone else
Cause I hung my original self from the top bunk with a belt
Got [bad word] off and ripped Pamela Lee's [bad word] off
And smacked her so hard I knocked her clothes backwards like Kris Kross
I smoke a fat pound of grass and fall on my [bad word] 
Faster than a fat [bad word] who sat down too fast
C'mere [bad word] #33; (Shady, wait a minute, that's my girl dog!)
I don't give a [bad word]  God sent me to [bad word] the world off!

 [bad word] 

[Eminem:]
My English teacher wanted to flunk me in Junior High
Thanks a lot, next semester I'll be 35
I smacked him in his face with an eraser, chased him with a stapler
And stapled his nuts to a stack of papers (Owwwwwwww!)
Walked in the strip club, had my jacket zipped up
Flashed the bartender, then stuck my [bad word] in the tip cup
 [bad word] over pedestrians
In a space ship while they screaming at me: "LET'S JUST BE FRIENDS!"
Ninety-nine percent of my life I was lied to
I just found out my mom does more dope than I do  [bad word] #33;)
I told her I'd grow up to be a famous rapper
Make a record about doing [bad word] and name it after her (Oh thank you!)
You know you blew up when the [bad word] your stands
And try to touch your hands like some screaming Usher fans (Aaahhhhhh!)
This guy at White Castle asked for my autograph
(Dude, can I get your autograph?)
So I signed it: 'Dear Dave, thanks for the support, [bad word] #33;'

 [bad word] 

[Eminem:]
Stop the tape! This kid needs to be locked away! (Get him!)
Dr. Dre, don't just stand there, OPERATE!
I'm not ready to leave, it's too scary to die  [bad word] that!)
I'll have to be carried inside the cemetery and buried alive (Huh yup!)
[bad word] or going? I can barely decide
I just drank a fifth of vodka -- dare me to drive? (Go ahead)
All my life I was very deprived
I ain't had a woman in years, and my palms are too hairy to hide (Whoops!)
Clothes ripped like the Incredible Hulk (hachhh-too)
I spit when I talk, I'll [bad word] anything that walks (C'mere)
When I was little I used to get so hungry I would throw fits
HOW YOU GONNA BREAST FEED ME MOM? (WAH!)
YOU AIN'T GOT NO [bad word] #33; (WAHHH!)
I lay awake and strap myself in the bed
Put a bulletproof vest on and shoot myself in the head (BANG!)
I'm steaming mad (Arrrggghhh!)
And by the way when you see my dad? (Yeah?)
Tell him that I slit his throat, in this dream I had