Living like animals with no real shame. 
Like creatures that exist that God didn't create. 
My body speaks to me and I understand. 
It makes me say to it, "your wish is [bad word] " 
Like feeling tired but wanting to stay awake, Or spending money to cover up a mistake. [bad word] fast but always taking long breaks. 
Just like the feelings that she said she didn't fake. 

I want to see the best version of me. 
The me that I know is not my friend at all. 

man can [bad word] himself to spend his life away. 
 [bad word] himself to drink 'till there's a smile on his face. 
drink can [bad word] a man to have another sip. man can [bad word] a sip to stop his trembling lips. 
Like reading half and never open it again. Saying I was there when I ain't ever been. How I feel about the way God taunts. 
The same is the way I give my body what it wants. 

I want to see the way I want to see. 
I'm all alone. 
I'm not my friend at all. 

I'm dead to me. 
I'm just a body. 
Is a man really alive if he can't control his own life?