Foolish thing to ponder, a more foolish thing to do
Im pretty [bad word] glad that Im not you
I know she was expecting, ah, wed get married anyway
house, nice cars, ten credit cards, shes never worked a day

He slaves his [bad word] [bad word] off to support his rotund wife
Hes lost his own identity for the remainder of his life
His fourteen-year old daughter has her third kid on the way 
Collect some life insurance is a message I convey

Kids are screaming
wife is nagging
Dog is barking
He had to burn it down

Strike the match
Dead bolt that latch
Gone in a flash
Burn it down

Hes like a soulless being, like a hamster on a wheel
As soon as you tied that knot that cage was made of steel
Ill enroll myself in Weight-Watchers or, maybe, join a gym
What about that thousand-dollar treadmill that you bought on a whim?

He slaves his [bad word] [bad word] off to support his rotund wife
Hes lost his own identity for the remainder of his life
His fourteen-year old daughter has her third kid on the way 
Collect some life insurance is a message I convey

The kids are screaming
The wife is nagging
The dog is barking
He had to burn it down

Strike the match
Dead bolt that latch
Gone in a flash
Burn it down

The kids are screaming
The wife is nagging
The dog is barking
He had to burn it down

Strike the match
Then pull that latch
Gone in a flash
Burn it down

Fourteen-year old daughter has her third kid on the way 
Collect some life insurance is a message I convey