As I did walk by Hampstead Fair
I came upon Mother Goose--
so I turned her loose--
she was screaming.
And a foreign student said to me--
was it really [bad word] there are elephants and lions too
in Piccadilly Circus?

Walked down by the bathing pond
to try and catch the sun.
Saw at least a hundred schoolgirls sobbing
into handkerchiefs as one.
I don`t believe they knew 
I was a schoolboy.

And a bearded lady said to me--
if you start your raving 
and your misbehaving--
you`ll be sorry.
Then the chicken-fancier came to play--
with his long red beard
(and his sister`s weird:
she drives a lorry).

Laughed down by the putting green--
I popped`em in their holes.
Four and twenty labourers were labouring:
digging up their gold.
I don`t believe they knew
that I was Long John Silver.

Saw Johnny Scarecrow make his rounds
in his jet-black mac
(which he won`t give back)--
stjle it from a snow man.