Which Switch is the Switch, Miss, for Ipswich?

Hello?....Hello?......HEL-LO?    Aah, she won’t answer me

I’ve just had a row with a telephone girl,
telephone girl, my brain’s in a whirl
I asked her for Ipswich, but she lost her head
And somehow she switched me on Northwich instead
She got so mixed up with the switches, it’s [bad word] That I got annoyed and I cried ‘tell me do...’
 [bad word] 
        Which switch is the switch, Miss, for Ipswich?
        It’s the Ipswich switch which I require
        Which switch switches Ipswich with this switch?
        You switched my switch on the wrong wire
        You’ve switched me on Northwich...... not Ipswich
        So now to prevent further hitch
        If you’ll tell me which switch is Northwich and which switch is Ipswich,
        I’ll know which switch is which

I begged the young lady to please put me through
I cried ‘switch me do, on Ipswich two two’
I waited an hour, then the 'sweet little thing'
Came back from her lunch and exclaimed ‘did you ring?’
Then just as I fancied at last I was through
She cried ‘have you finished?’  I said ‘what the..? er..who?’

(Repeat [bad word] 

I got through at last and I thought all was well
Rang up my hotel, but more trouble fell
I said ‘can you fix me a table for two?’
voice said ‘(huh) we can Sir, but this (huh) is the zoo!’
I murmured a prayer then I fainted away
And when I came round I was trying to say...

(Repeat [bad word]