Hey ladies in the place I'm callin' out to ya
 There never was a city kid [bad word] and bluer
 There's more to me than you'll ever know
 And I've got more hits than [bad word] Oh
 Tom Thumb Tom Cushman or Tom Foolery
 Date women on T.V. with the help of Chuck Woolery
 Words are flowing out just like the Grand Canyon
 And I'm always out looking for a [bad word]  I threw the lasso around the tallest one and dragged her to the crib
 I took off her moccasins and put on my bib
 I'm wheelin' and dealin' I make a little bit of stealing
 I'll bring you back to the place and your dress I'm feeling
 Your body's on time and your mind is appealing
 Staring at the cracks up there upon the ceiling
 Such and such be the bass that I'm throwing
 Talking to a girl telling her I'm all knowing
 She's talking to the kid 
 I'm telling here every lie that you know that I never did

 Hey ladies! Get funky!

 Me in the corner with a good looking daughter
 I dropped my drawers and it was [bad word] back Kotter
 We were cutting up [bad word] she started cutting up the carpet
 In my apartment I begged her please stop it
 The gift of gab is the gift that I have
 And that girl ain't nothing but a crab
 Educated no stupid yes
 And when I say stupid I mean stupid fresh
 I'm not James at 15 or Chachi in charge
 I'm Adam and I'm adamant about living large
 With the white sassoons and the looks that kill
 Makin' love in the back of my Coupe De Ville
 I met a little cutie she was all hopped up on zootie
 I liked the little cutie but I kicked her in the bootie
 Cause I don't kinda go for that messin' around
 You be listening to my records' a number one sound
 Step to the rhythm step step to the ride
 I've got an open mind so why don't you all get inside
 Tune in tune on to my tune that's live
 Ladies flock like bees to a hive

 Hey ladies! Get funky!

 Hey, hey, hey, hey ladies!

 Hey, hey, hey, hey ladies!

 (one more time)
 Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey ladies!

 She's got a gold tooth you know she's hardcore
 She'll show you a good time then she'll show you the door
 Break up with your girl it ended in tears
 Vincent Van Gogh and mail that ear
 I call her in the middle of the night when I'm drinking
 The phone booth on the corner is damp and it's stinking
 She [bad word] on over it was me that she missed
 I threw that trash can through her window cause you know I got dissed
 Your old lady left you and you went girls (x3) insane
 You blew yourself up in the back of the 6 train
 Take my advice at any price a gorilla like your mother is mighty weak
 Sucking down pints 'til I didn't know
 Woke up in the morning at the Won Ton Ho
 Cause I announce I like girls that bounce
 With the weight that pays about a pound per ounce
 Girls with curls and big long locks
 And beatnik chicks just wearing their smocks
 Walking high and mighty like she's #1 and
 *She thinks she's the passionate one*

 Hey, ladies! Get funky!