Now we're agreed that we're in love
 We'll have to face the lah-di-dah,
 The eyewash, all of the fancy pantomime.
 (I love you very much.)
 I'll try love, I'll bill and coo
 With your [bad word] Auntie Susan
 I'll stay calm, I'll play it cool;
 I'll let your tetchy uncles
 Get me back up, cross my heart.
 And I shan't get shirty when they say I look peculiar.

 I'll be nice to your mother,
 [bad word] all over lah-di-dah,
 Although she always gets up me nose.
 (I love you very much.)
 And so I'll smile and I'll acquiesce
 When she invites me to caress
 Her scabby cat;
 I'll sit still while she knits
 And witters, cross my heart,
 And I shan't lay a finger on the crabby old batface.

 I'll be polite to your daddy,
 Frightfully lah-di-dah,
 Although he always bores me to my boots.
 (I love you very much.)
 And so I won't boo and hiss
 When he starts to reminisce
 I won't drop off, I won't flare up;
 [bad word] he used to score
 And how he won the war, cross my heart,
 But I'll have to grit me teeth when he goes on about [bad word] 

 I'll behave at the wedding breakfast
 I'll be lah-di-dah
 So help me! Hearty toasts and risky jokes!
 (I love you very much.)
 So help me, I'll force a laugh
 For the flicking photographs
 So have no fear, I won't turn tail;
 I [bad word] amuck when the females chuck
 Confetti in my ears
 And cross me heart, love, I'll keep off the pale ale.

 When we're off on our own
 No more lah-di-bloody-dah
 I promise, we just won't have the time
 We won't have time for such,
 Such fancy pantomimes.
 (I'll love you far too much.)