I would like
to go back in time and be your wife
not because I'd be the first lady
but because I think you're charming

I know you were an unhappy man
few marry old they say
but I could have made you a happy man
that laughed and danced and sang

And I
would have recited Shakespeare with you
let you read all the good lines
you could've been Iago and Othello
every time
I would have done your shopping for you
bought you your tall pants
I would've been presently affectionate
I would've put my hand in your long hand

and if I'd been on the balcony of Fords Theater
when Mr. Booth came up with gun in hand
I would've put my head in front of your head
I would've put my head in front of your head

Abraham Lincoln
I would like
to go back in time and be your wife
not because you saved the Union
but because I think you're hot [bad word] 
I know you were intelligent
telling stories all the time
and I bet we'd have the same sense of humor
we'd laugh until we cried

And I
would have spent [bad word] your hair
putting every one in place
but if you got nervous and messed it up
it would have been okay

and we could have had
messy hair together
and we could have had
beautiful children together
but I would have been a perfect mother
to Eddie and Willie and Tad and Robbert
yeah I wouldn't of let them get the fever
or smallpox or malaria

and if I'd been on the balcony of Fords Theater
when Mr. Booth came up with gun in hand
I would've put my head in front of your head
I would've put my head in front of your head

and heck I wouldn't have made us go to the theater
yeah we could've stayed home and eaten dinner
and you could've resigned the presidency
devoted the rest of your life to me

yeah we could have left Oh, Washington forever
and we could have grown older and older together

but if I'd been on the balcony of Fords Theater
when Mr. Booth came up with gun in hand
I would've put my head in front of your head
I would've put my head in front of your head