If you're in to pain and agony (Agony)
 If you love the great indoors
 [bad word] to the Good Ship Misery
 The misery's all yours
 
Everyday begins with misery (Misery)
 Breakfast in [bad word] cup
 Then we all get dull and miserable
 And then we all throw up
 
The boots have got the place so hot
 That to your spot you've got the rock and roll
 
There's never sun!
 The rats [bad word] 
 Does anyone remember fun?
 No! No! No! No!
 Just thought I'd ask!
 
If you're thinking this could never be (Think again!)
 If you're thinking it's the Ritz (Fat chance!)
 Sorry, but the Good Ship Misery is a reality
 Hubie, baby, this is the pits!
 
You sit and think and pray you'll sink
 Your muscles shrink, you start to stink
 And when they cough that slimy slop
 And drop a glop of some on top
 It's woo!
 
Everyday's a total tragedy (Tragedy)
 Then the days begin to blow
 Getting bored aboard the misery
 Is a redundancy
 Is everybody miserable?
 Now you're talkin'
 Yes, sir!