GASTON:
Crazy old Maurice, hmmm?
Crazy old Maurice...
LeFou, I'm afraid I've been thinking

LEFOU:
dangerous pastime

GASTON:
I know.
But that whacky old coot is Belle's father
And his sanity's only "so-so"
Now the wheels in my head have been turning
Since I looked at that loony, old man
See, I've promised myself I'd be married to Belle
And right now I'm evolving a plan

GASTON:
If I . . . (whisper)

LEFOU:
Yes?

GASTON:
Then we . . . (whisper)

LEFOU:
No! Would she . . .

GASTON:
(whisper) Guess!

LEFOU:
Now I get it!

BOTH:
Let's go!
No one plots like Gaston

GASTON:
Takes cheap shots like Gaston

LEFOU:
Plans to persecute harmless crackpots like Gaston

GASTON:
Yes, I'm endlessly, wildly resourceful

LEFOU:
As down to the depths you descend

GASTON:
I won't even be mildly remorseful

BOTH:
Just as long as I (you) get what I (you) want in the end

GASTON:
Who has brains like Gaston?

LEFOU:
Entertains like Gaston?

BOTH:
Who can make up these endless refrains like Gaston?
And his marriage we soon will be celebrating
My what a guy
Gaston!