I've Been Bad Boy

I've been a bad boy this year 
I'm not gonna get any Christmas gift  [bad word] are very clear 
I get a lump of coal on the 25th 
My stocking won't contain 
No treat or candy cane 
You see a bad boy, right here 
Santa will skip me on this year's shift 

Okay, listen now... 

You'll get no trip to Spain 
If you're crawling in the fast lane 

No winter coat for you 
If you [bad word] beside the loo 

Let's kick it up a notch, shall we? 

Forget about that laptop case 
If you drew a big [bad word] on your sleeping friend's face 

(Ain't that the [bad word] ) 

You'll get no bottle of wine 
If you cheat when you play online 

That's just wrong, and you know it you [bad word]  

I've been a bad boy this year 
I'm not gonna get any Christmas gift  [bad word] are very clear 
I get a lump o' coal on the 25th 
My stocking won't contain 
No treat or candy cane 
You see a bad boy, right here 
Santa will skip me on this year's shift 

Alright, hang on... 

You won't get a rock guitar 
If you robbed an armored car 

You'll get no pajama dress 
If you work for the IRS 

Yeah, that escalated quickly, didn't it? Wait, it gets worse... 

Forget about those poker decks 
If you date your best friend's ex 

And definitely no watch for you 
If you ask a woman when she's due 

...and it turns out she just... could use a little exercise... 

All together now! 

I've been a bad boy this year 
I'm not gonna get any Christmas gift  [bad word] are very clear 
I get a lump o' coal on the 25th 
My stocking won't contain 
No treat or candy cain 
You see a bad boy, right here 
Santa will skip me on this year's shift 
Santa will skip me on this year's shift 
Santa will skip me on this year's shift