Well I was born an original sinner 

I was borne from original sin 

And if I had a dollar bill 

There'd be a mountain of money 

Piled up to my chin... 

My mother told me good 

My mother told me strong 

She said "be [bad word] to yourself 

And you can't go wrong." 

"But there's just one thing 

That you must understand: 

You can fool with your brother 

But don't mess with a missionary man." 

Don't mess with a missionary man 

Don't mess with a missionary man 

Well the missionary man 

He's got God in his side 

He's got the saints and apostles 

Backin' up from behind 

Black eyed looks from those Bible books 

He's a man with a mission 

Got a serious mind 

There was a woman in the jungle 

And a monkey on a tree 

The missionary man he was followin' me 

He said "Stop what you're doing 

Get down upon your knees 

I've a message for you that you better believe."