Half way through Mamma Mia at the Cinemaplex
I let rip with a [bad word] that straight away I regret
Buggering [bad word]  then I notice a worrying smell
And I suddenly lose control, and there's a fire within my hole

All my strength goes into clenching my ring
But it's too late and I expel everything
Oh no!

Diarrhoea, here I go again
Oh Christ, what have I been eating?
Diarrhoea, it's going everywhere
Wet [bad word]  all over the seating

My evening fell to pieces
Sprayed with my liquid faeces
And we had to leave the cinema

Mamma Mia – it started as an ABBA film
Ended more like an abattoir!