Outside a bar in Toledo, where you had had more than your fill,
man stood rotating a chicken on a flaming-hot infrared grill.
You staggered up to him and shouted, with a voice just like a town crier,
You said, "Hey, mate, your barrel organ is broken, what's more your monkey's on fire."

But the Andalucian gypsies have a saying so old but so [bad word] 
That for every man there's a woman, and my darling I've chosen you.

Now you never eat peas with your knife dear, to do so you said was a crime,
Instead you would take a celery stalk and you'd roll them down one at a time.
"If you eat one more dumpling you'll burst dear," one day to you I had to say,
You simply said, "Well pass the dumplings and stand well back out of the way."

But the Andalucian gypsies have a saying so old but so [bad word] 
That for every man there's a woman, and my darling I've chosen you.

You used to try to make tea cakes with a recipe your mother lent,
In my mouth they melted like butter, in my stomach they set like cement.
You used to experiment daily with different things that would fill me,
It was just like [bad word] roulette, I never knew which meal would kill me.

But the Andalucian gypsies have a saying so old but so [bad word] 
That for every man there's a woman, and my darling I've chosen you.

On a barstool you had a hangover, it used to hang over the edge,
If a [bad word] [bad word] in and see you, he'd go straight out and sign the pledge.
Oh my wife is one in a million, often have I heard that said,
But you are not one in a million, you look like you're won in a raffle instead.

But the Andalucian gypsies have a saying so old but so [bad word] 
That for every man there's a woman, and I had to get lumbered with you.