Hey, girl.
I wrote a song for you.
So..sh-sh..shut up!

It's Valenine's Day and I wanted to say.
That Cupid's arrow's hit in the most peculiar way.

And I don't know how to say it.
But in my heart, I know it's [bad word] 
The only girl I wanna be with
On Valentine's Day..
Is your sister.

I wanna get with ya, with ya sister.
Hooking up with your way hotter sister.

Do you think you could do me a solid?
And tell your way hotter sister I said "Hello"

I hope you're not offended.
I hope you're not surprised.
But I think I saw her giving me the
"Let go out the back
And hook up in the shed
Until the sunrise" eyes.

Baby. Baby. Baby. Baby. 
Baby. Baby. Baby. Baby. 

I was wondering if it wasn't too much trouble.
That maybe..
I could meet your mamma.
Hooking up with your sister and your momma.

Maybe cause some 
Multi-generational drama.

Has your mamma been doing 
Some Zumba?
She looks really good for her age.

Why are you crying?
Why are you screaming?
You sound like you're dying.
It's really unappealing.

Did you think I wanted you?
Well I honestly don't know how.
You know your chances could be
whole lot better if 
You shaved your unibrow.

I'm hooking up with your sister
Your momma.
Your sister's hot friend
LaShaundah

I'm hooking up with your whole [bad word] family.