"My Mom"

Yo yo, alright, i'm gonna lay the [bad word] first
Here we go now.

My mom loved valium and lots of [bad word] And that's why I am like I am cause I'm like her
Because my mom loved valium and lots of [bad word] That's why I on what I on cause I'm my mom.

My mom my mom I know youre probably tired of hearing about my mom Oh ho! Whoa ho!
But this is just a story of when I was just a shorty and how I became hooked on va-al-ya-hum
Valium was in everything food that I ate, The water that I drank [bad word] peas on my plate,
She sprinkled just enough of it to sea-son my steak, So everyday I have at least three stomach aches,
Now tell me what kind of mother would want to see her
Son grow up to be an under a undera [bad word] chiever, My teacher didn't think I was going be nothing either,
What the [bad word] you sticking gum up under the [bad word] seat for?
Mrs. Mathers your son has been huffing ether, Either that or the mother [bad word] been puffing reefer,
But all this huffing and puffing wasn't what it was either,
It was neither I was buzzing but it wasn't what she thought, Pee in a tea cup? [bad word] you aint my keeper, im sleeping, What the [bad word] you keep on [bad word] with me for? [bad word] you need to leave me the [bad word] alone I aint playing,
Go find you a white crayon and color a [bad word] zebra.

My mom love Valium and lots of [bad word]  That why I am like I am cause I'm like her,
Because my mom love Valium and lots of [bad word]  That why I'm on what I'm on cause I'm my mom.

Wait a minute this aint dinner this is paint thinner, You ate it yesterday I aint hear [bad word] did I?
Now here's a plate full of pain killers now just wait till I [bad word] the Valium and put it in your potatoes you little mother [bad word] ill make you sit there and make that retarded [bad word] face without even tasting it, you better lick the [bad word] plate you aint wasting it, Put your face in it before I throw you in the basement again,
And I aint giving in, your gonna just sit there in one [bad word] place spinning again till next thanksgiving and if you still aint finished it I use the same [bad word] again then when I make spinach dip it will be placed into [bad word]  you little [bad word] want to sit there and play innocent, rack fell and hit me at k mart and they witnessed it, child support, your father he aint slipped us [bad word] and so what if he did that aint none of your dang business kid.

My mom there's noone else quite like my mom I know why should let bygones be bygones
But she's the reason why I am high but I'm high on cause.

My mom love Valium and lots of [bad word]  That why I am like I am cause I'm like her,
Because my mom love Valium and lots of [bad word]  That why I'm on what I'm on cause I'm my mom.

My mom loved valium now all I am Is a party animal, I am what I am
But I'm strong to be finished wit' me val-ium spinach But my bars only last about two minutes
But I don't wanna swallow it without you in it I can't even write a rhyme without you in it
My valium, my vaaa-eh-elll-liummmmm maaaaaaannnnnnnnnnnnnn.

Man I never though that I could ever be [bad word] addict nah, [bad word] that I can't have it happen to me
But that's actually what has ended up happenin, a tragedy
I'm [bad word] passin it up catchin me And it's probably where I got acquainted with the taste ain't it?
Pharmaceuticals of the bomb i'm beautiful Secure the [bad word] dog with the medicine she done fed it
Feed it a [bad word] aspirin and say that it has a headache
Here want a snack, you hungry you [bad word] rat Look at that, it's a Zanex, take it and take a nap
Eat it, but I don't need it, well [bad word] it then brake it up
Take a little piece and beat it before you wake Nathan up all right Ma you win, I don't feel like arguin
I'll do it, pop and gobble it and start wobblin Stumble hobble tumble slip drip then I fall in bed
With a bottle of meds and a Heath Ledger