Tatyana's Letter to Onegin (исполнитель: Stephen Fry)
(Translated by JAMES E. FALEN) I'm writing you this declaration- What more can I in candour say? It may be now your inclination To scorn me and to turn away; But if my hapless situation Evokes some pity for my woe, You won't abandon me, I know. I first tried silence and evasion; Believe me, you 'd have never learned My secret shame, had I discerned The slightest hope that on occasion- But once a week-I'd see your face, Behold you at our country place, Might hear you speak a friendly greeting, Could say a word to you; and then, Could dream both day and night again Of but one thing, till our next meeting. They say you like to be alone And find the country unappealing; We lack, I know, a worldly tone, But still, we [bad word] you with feeling. Why did you [bad word] to call? In this forgotten country dwelling I'd not have known you then at all, Nor known this bitter heartache's swelling. Perhaps, when time had helped in quelling The girlish hopes on which I fed, I might have found (who knows?) another And been a faithful wife and mother, Contented with the life I led. Another! No! In all creation There's no one else whom I'd adore; The heavens chose my destination And made me thine for evermore! My life till now has been a token In pledge of meeting you, my friend; And in [bad word] God has spoken, You'll be my guardian till the end… You filled my dreams and sweetest trances; As yet unseen, and yet so dear, You stirred me with your wondrous glances, Your voice within my soul rang clear… And then the dream came [bad word] for me! When you came in, I seemed to waken, I turned to flame, I felt all shaken, And in my heart I cried: It's he! And was it you I heard replying Amid the stillness of the night, Or when I helped the poor and dying, Or turned to heaven, softly crying, And said a prayer to soothe my plight? And even now, my dearest vision, Did I not see your apparition Flit softly through this lucent night? Was it not you who seemed to hover Above my bed, a gentle lover, To whisper hope and sweet delight? Are you my angel of salvation Or [bad word] #39;s own demon of temptation? Be kind and send my doubts away; For this may all be mere illusion, The things a simple girl would say, While Fate intends no grand conclusion… So be it then! Henceforth I place My faith in you and your affection; I plead with tears upon my face And beg you for your kind protection. You cannot know: I'm so alone, There's no one here to whom I've spoken, My mind and will are almost broken, And I must die without a moan. I wait for you… and your decision: Revive my hopes with but a sign, Or halt this heavy dream of mine- Alas, with well-deserved derision! I close. I dare not now reread… I shrink with shame and fear. But surely, Your honour's all the pledge I need, And I submit to it securely.