Suddenly I was told to breathe
so wide eyed gasping I took my first breath
rising up from nothing aiming to be fabulous non the less
this isn't just an uneducated guess 
I'm a weird mother [bad word] can't you tell i'm not like the rest?
Whispers in these ears keep telling me i'm blessed
keep this [bad word] up and you'll never be stressed
knew that was a lie but I said [bad word] it, what's next?
Gotta cope with this deep breath until I float
this sense always brings me to this point of hope
my father asked me if I was a [bad word]  nope
I like licking [bad word] and sucking [bad word] though
huff a sugary taste laced with vicodin and tall boys
join if you want, like always it's your choice
i'm a sucker for a good connection
I've got good detection, possibly scared of my own reflection
ibuprofen, lack of serotonin, all playing roles in the life I'm blowing
you see my colors showing?

breathe in, breathe out
I think this time I loaned is finally [bad [bad word] out
breathe in, breathe out
my lungs are begging for a hit and I can't let em down
drifting slowly losing sense of time
a dance with death is [bad word] nothing when you've felt this high
a drive down 75, never felt so alive
huffing nitrous till our brains are [bad word] paralyzed

gimme a double I'm asking for trouble
my lips are turning blue and I'm starring through a tunnel and subtly I leave this room in which I grew into a cold sorry son of a [bad word]  it was a mix of lack of concentration, motivation, [bad word] to the realization I will never change
it's always one more, one more
outta metaphors to explain the shame I felt when I was dirt poor
if only when I came to I could put these thoughts to words
I'd probably terrify you
I'd sound so absurd
an animal in a cage I'm going straight berserk
I'd bang head on the bars but it only leads to a soul that hurts
so I sit back and watch life pass me by
stuck with this feeling that my life is just a lie
wide eyed I realize with that last breath I've never felt so alive
but I'm dead inside

breathe in, breathe out
I think this time I loaned is finally [bad [bad word] out
breathe in, breathe out
my lungs are begging for a hit and I can't let em down
drifting slowly losing sense of time
a dance with death is [bad word] nothing when you've felt this high
a drive down 75, never felt so alive
huffing nitrous till our brains are [bad word] paralyzed