now my child, you would be five; through everything by my side 
in this fin de siècle spirit; this age of selfishness 
did we permit everything to slip away? 
did i lose everything i believed in? 
is there no tomorrow? only thoughts for today 
is there no tomorrow? i [bad word] you 

should you have been brought into this cold dark world 
fatherless, abandoned with our child within 
in this life there are no fathers not on heaven nor on earth 
we spend our life searching for this lost fragment of our soul 
immersed in self-indulgence is there no hope for beauty? 
whose arms are big enough to hold my fears? 
already i have more than i can bare. 

this life i once opened to joy 
now lies twisted in pain 
this is dying and not loving 
the honey now flows with blood 

i will die with this guilt..... knowing i betrayed myself.