The freaks'll stay together
They're a tight old crew
You look at them
And they look at you
I love the ballyhoo girl
But she don't care
It's hard to find love anywhere
Hard to find love anywhere

The professor is the talker
He's the talking man
And if he can't clean a midway
Nobody can
He'll get the tip on in
From the midway mud
You gotta have the sawdust in the blood
Gotta have the sawdust in the blood

See the pig-faced man and the monkey [bad word] see the big fat lady
'Gator slim with the alligator [bad word] see the devil baby

Springer is the talker
He's the talking man
He's got the whole studio
Eating out of his hand
You can be on too
With the nuts and the geeks
Call 1-800-ima frek
1-800-ima frek

Be the pig-faced man or the monkey [bad word] be the big fat lady
'Gator slim with the alligator [bad word] be the devil baby