Oh, give me a noose I can hang from the tree
I need no excuse to end my misery
This holiday season is all the more reason to die

Oh, pull up a stool and an ear to a fool
Once found some solace in the season of yule
This holiday season is all the more reason to cry

I put on my mittens, one green and one red
And I walk alone where they bury the dead
The snow falls as I breathe
It's a Gothic, death-rock Christmas eve

The bottle is empty
The sleigh has a flat
The stripper in my bed is ugly and fat
Her tassels are tangled and what's worse
My jingle won't jangle

This time of the year makes me sick to my guts
All this good cheer is a pain in the nuts
When it's your career to be down in the dumps
Tidings [bad word] and joy really suck

I feel like St. Nicholas is pulling my leg
This thing we call "Christmas" is a sorry black plague
This holiday season is
All the more reason to die