There once was a man
An evil, evil man
Who lived his life in evil, evil ways
In a big crooked house 
Circled by big crooked trees
There he savored all his evil deeds

"You see I'm good" he cried
"So very deep inside"
"Deep down inside I’m good"
"I just keep my good side"
"Buried deep beneath my hide"
"So I enjoy my evil, evil ways"

This morning on a snowy street
starving man fed his mutt
And our hero felt a twinge within his heart
And that beggar on the street
Felt a gnawing in his gut
But our hero had the sense to soon depart

"You see I'm good" he cried
"So very deep inside"
"Deep down inside I’m good"
"I just keep my good side"
"Buried deep beneath my hide"
"So I enjoy my evil, evil ways"

Toasted his own health
Just last Tuesday night
For feeling a very real regret
For his new investment: a factory and it makes
Dog food out of orphans long lost pets

"You see I'm good" he cried
"So very deep inside"
"Deep down inside I’m good"
"I just keep my good side"
"Buried deep beneath my hide"
"So I enjoy my evil, evil ways"

There once was a man
An evil, evil man
Who lived his life in evil, evil ways
In a big crooked house 
Circled by big crooked trees