Simon Diamond sold his soul
 Changed his name by deed poll
 Started out as [bad word]  Lived his life inside a nutshell

 Ooh ooh
 Ooh ooh

 Couldn't take the public scorn
 Changed from human to plant form
 Now he swapped his legs for roots
 His arms and soil are in cahoots

 Ooh ooh
 Ooh ooh

 What will [bad word] of Simon Diamond
 Water himself can't change the climate
 What will [bad word] of Simon Diamond
 Water himself can't change the climate

 Ooh ooh
 Ooh ooh

 That'll do
 (That'll do)
 That'll do
 (That'll do)
 That'll do
 (That'll do)