[ANDY SAMBERG] 
After the club is the after party 
After the party is the hotel lobby 
And after that, you know it's diamond Cris 
And after that, I say, 'Excuse me, miss' 

And after that, we goin' back to the room 
And after that, she's gonna leave real soon 
And after that, I crack one more beer 
And after that, I just stare in the mirror 

And after that, I start freakin' out 
What the [bad word] am I doing with my life? 
Call up my mom and get my cry on 
I order room service, get my apple pie on 

And after that, I just walk the streets 
homeless dude throws up on my feet 
And I see just how pointless life is 
Full on existential crisis 
Tear off my clothes and scream at the sky 
Fall to my knees and ask God, 'why?' 

[SANTIGOLD] 
This nightlife is killing me 
I think I'm losing my mind 
I yearn to fly, yet I sink 
Stalling tears is my dream 

[ANDY SAMBERG] 
After that, I drive into the hills 
And trade my car for a bottle of pills 
And after that, I'm on a vision quest 
Put my mind, body, and soul to the test 

And after that, I meet my totem spirit 
It's a rattlesnake, so I have to kill it 
Then I drink all his blood and steal his powers 
Slither around in the dirt for hours 

And after that I start jerking off 
Up on a mountain, jerking off 
Down by the river, jerking off 
And that's when I have my epiphany 
You can't spend your whole life jerking off 
And after that, I'm going back to the city 

[SANTIGOLD] 
This nightlife is killing me 
No more jerking off 
Fate only knows what's in store 
Stalling tears for me, no more 

[ANDY SAMBERG] 
And after that, I clean up my life 
Join AA to make it right 
And after that, I get my thirty day chip 
And after that, I go sell a bit 

And after that, I'm a whole new man  [bad word] in my hybrid van 
I give my life to meditation 
Then sleep with a [bad word] at a Greyhound station 

And after that, I have a full relapse 
Then lose my hand in a game of craps 
And after that, everyone calls me Claw 
And after that, I work for Tim McGraw (Hey!) 

And after that, I pass out in a sewer 
Meet a giant fish, [bad word] his brains out 
And after, that I'm filled with shame 
No one but myself to blame 
Nothing in my heart but pain 
And next week we're gonna do it again! 

[SANTIGOLD] 
This nightlife carves hooks in me 
I'm back to jerking off 
I tried but could not break free 
Stalling tears return to me 

Started in the club 
Then he moved to the Hills 
Really freaked out and drank snake blood 
Got himself clean 
Now back in the club 
And that's where I've been in this song 

But it's stalling tears 
This playboy life's too much for me 

[ANDY SAMBERG] 
After the club is the after party 
After the party is the hotel lobby 
Stuck in a cycle I just can't win 
And after that, it all happens again