[Flim]
Well, lookie what we got here, brother of mine, it's the same in every town
Ponies with thirsty throats, dry tongues, and not a drop of cider to be found
Maybe they're not aware that there's really no need for this teary despair
[Flam]
That the key that they need to solve this sad cider shortage you and I will share
Ponies: [excited chattering]
[Flim and Flam]
Well you've got opportunity
In this [bad word] [Flam]
He's Flim
[Flim]
He's Flam
[Flim and Flam]
We're the world famous Flim Flam brothers
Traveling salesponies nonpareil
Pinkie Pie: Nonpa-what?
[Flim]
Nonpareil, and that's exactly the reason why, you see
No pony else in this whole place will give you such a chance to be where you need to be
And that's a new world, with tons of cider
Fresh squeezed and ready for drinking
[Flam]
More cider than you can drink in all your days of thinking
Rainbow Dash: I doubt that.
[Flim and Flam]
So take this opportunity
[Flim, Flam, and Crowd]
In this [bad word] [Flam]
He's Flim
[Flim]
He's Flam
[Flim and Flam]
We're the world famous Flim Flam brothers
Traveling salesponies
[Flim, Flam, and Crowd]
Nonpareil
[Flim]
I suppose by now you're wondering 'bout our peculiar mode of transport
[Flam]
I say, our mode of [bad word] [Flim]
And I suppose by now you're wondering, where is this promised cider?
[Flam]
Any horse can make a claim and any pony can do the same
[Flim]
But my brother and I have something most unique and superb
Unseen at any time in this big new world
[Flim and Flam]
And that's opportunity
[Flim]
Folks, it's the one and only, the biggest and the best
[Flam]
The unbelievable
[Flim]
Unimpeachable
[Flam]
Indispensable
[Flim]
I-can't-believe-able
[Flim and Flam]
Flim Flam brothers' Super Speedy Cider Squeezy 6000
Flam: What d'you say, sister?
Rarity: [faints]
[Crowd]
Oh, we got opportunity
In this [bad word] Please, Flim, please, Flam, help us out of this jam
With your Flim Flam brothers' Super Speedy Cider Squeezy 6000
Flim: Young filly, I would be ever so honored if you might see fit to let my brother and I borrow some of your delicious, and might I add spellbindingly fragrant apples for our little demonstration here?
Applejack: Uh, sure, I guess.
[Crowd]
Opportunity, in [bad word] [Flam]
Ready, Flim?
[Flim]
Ready, Flam?
[Flim and Flam]
Let's bing bang zam!
Flim: And show these thirsty ponies a world of delectable cider!
[Crowd]
Cider, cider, cider, cider... [continues until Granny Smith [bad word] 
Flim: Watch closely, my friends!
[Flam]
The fun begins!
Flim: Now, here's where the magic happens. Right here in this heaving, roiling, cider-press-boiling guts of the very machine, those apples plucked fresh are right now as we speak being turned into grade-A, top-notch, five-star, blow-your-horseshoes-off, one-of-a-kind cider!
[Flam]
Feel free to take a sneak peek!
[Granny Smith]
Now wait, you fellers, hold it!
You went and over-sold it!
I guarantee that what you have there [bad word] For the very most important ingredient
Can't be added or done expedient
And it's quality, friends, Apple Acres' quality and care!
[Flim]
Well, Granny, I'm glad you brought that up, my dear, I say I'm glad you brought that up
You see that we are very picky when [bad word] to cider if you'll kindly try a cup
[Flam]
Yes, sir, yes, ma'am, this great machine lets just the very best
So whaddaya say then, Apples?
Care to step into the modern world
And put the Super Speedy Cider Squeezy 6000 to the test?
[Crowd]
Cider, cider, cider, cider... [continues until Flim and Flam begin singing]
Flim: What do you think, folks? Do you see what the Apples can't? I se