(Vocals by Neil Gaiman)
I wish that Joan of Arc wouldn’t hang around the park 
Pronouncing that she won’t get burned again 
Her armour’s very shiny and her message is divine 
But I wish she’d take a day off now and then 

She said it clears your head when [bad word] back from the 
dead 
With your sword as sharp as anything that cuts 
And to prove it she bisected three young tourists from 
Utrecht 
Which rapidly displayed a lot of guts 

She says we need to 
raise a brand new army 
And the flag of France 
so proudly she unfurled 
And the people that 
she hated will be neatly bifurcated 
And the British will 
no [bad word] the world 

(She says) it was a mistake to let them burn her at the 
stake 
And she learned a lesson back there in the flames 
So she’s going to kill the queen and then she’ll rescue Old 
Orleans 
And it’s really hard to hang around with saints 

I think I ought to tell her that the English left in failure 
And they don’t go back to France except on hols 
But I saw her vivisect a man who wanted to correct her -- 
And the playground soon resembled grand guignol 

She says we need to 
raise a brand new army 
And she marched us 
round until we couldn’t stand 
She says the nation 
she abhors will soon be writhing on the floor 
And the British will 
no [bad word] her land 

And she’s waiting for the dauphin who [bad word] across the 
ocean, 
And knows that God agrees with [bad word] 
So I’m hoping that she’ll ignore my English accent in her 
war 
‘Cause it’s really hard to hang around with saints 

She says we need to 
raise a brand new army 
And the flag of France 
so proudly she unfurled 
And the people that 
she hated will be neatly bifurcated 
And the British will 
no [bad word] 
the British will no [bad word] 
the British will no [bad word] the 
world!