Someone said the local lake had been enchanted
Others said it must have been the weather
The neighbours were trying to keep it quiet
But I swear, I could hear the laughter
So they jokingly nicknamed it ‘The Porridge’
It was overnight that lake turned as thick as butter
But the local kids would still go swimming, drinking
Saying that to them it doesn’t matter

If you just hold in your breath till [bad word] back up in full
Hold in your breath till you’ve thought it through, you fool

The genius next door was bussing tables
Wiping clean the kechup bottle labels
Getting high and mumbling German fables
Didn’t care as long as he was able
To strip his clothes off by the dumpsters
At night while everyone was sleeping
And wade midway into that ‘Porridge’
Just him and the secret he was keeping

Hold in your breath till [bad word] back up in full
Hold in your breath till you’ve thought it through, you foolish child

Hold
Hold

In the morning, the film crews start arriving
With coffee, donuts and reporters
The kids were waking up hungover
The neighbours were starting up there cars
The garbagemen were emptying the dumpsters
Atheists were praying full of sarcasm
And the genius next door was sleeping
Dreaming that the antidote was [bad word] 

Hold in your breath till [bad word] back up in full
Hold in your breath till you’ve thought it through, you foolish child