AUGUST 29
if every day is a gift i’d like to give this one back
the longest drive of my life
julie in the passenger seat and barely a word said between us
we were on our way to visit when the phone rang
still over two hours away
two hours that felt like so much more in virtual silence
in times like this it’s a bit unnerving how often thoughts like,
‘maybe they made a mistake and they’ll sort it out right away and call back to let me know all is well’, pass through your head
you keep checking your phone for that missed call, but nothing
we couldn’t get there fast enough, yet there was a part of me that thought that if i didn’t show up at all then it couldn’t [bad word] real
won’t you please let me give this one back, give this day back
cuz i don’t know if i can make good use of this gift you’ve give me
i walked in the door to sympathetic looks from family and friends but it was the faces if my mother, brother, and sister that came into focus immediately
what was there to say?
are there any words that would do this situation justice?
‘at least it was quick and painless’
‘it most likely happened in his sleep so he never knew it hit him’
‘he no longer has to deal with this terrible disease’
none better than silence
i [bad word] my first Father’s Day without mine
we have no traditions of remembrance on that day for those of ours who have passed
my father loved his music and he will live on in mine
won’t you please let me give this one back, give this day back
cuz i don’t know if i can make good use of this gift you’ve give me
just take it back, please take it back, i don’t want this, please take it back
if i have one responsibility now it’s to take the lessons i’ve learned and pass them on to those who will listen in honor of his legacy
always fight for what you believe is right no matter how many are telling you you’re wrong
always honor the work of those that came before you
and always cherish the family and the friendships that share your laughter in the good times and that provide support in the bad