Wake up, don’t wanna be late, the first day of school
Cuz I got my bag packed, and now everything’s cool
And I hoped to be, at a university in the fall
But my safety school wasn’t returning my call
Cuz they said you’re too weird, and your grades don’t hold up
And that personal essay hasn’t got a lot to show us
So hold up, I’m much more than I really must seem
I deserve to be a [bad word] human being
So I made the best, with the standardized tests
And my extra curriculars wasn’t nothing in particular
To write home about, so I made some lemonade
And the [bad word] fast, and I know it won’t wait
So I gotta do something with these years of my life
Maybe do a little summer school, or classes at night
Until somebody handed me a pamphlet and it read:
Why not try a year at Greendale instead?
hook: 
At Greendale, you can achieve your dreams
At Greendale, you’re just another human being
At Greendale, all your credits will transfer
And there in [bad word] you’ll find the answer
verse 2:
Okay, first week, didn’t get one assignment
Class is kinda like a waste of time
But I found some friends, the kind of people I could vibe with
Watch some Kickpuncher and Inspector Spacetime
And I sang “Witchy Woman" with the whole debate team
And my spanish professor, I think he hates me, 
That’s because he’s crazy el tigre chino
and a monkey ran away with my pen, through the grates, see
You  get used to it, after a while
So when they built a blanket fort, I just smiled, 
and rolled with that, and I watched my back, 
When the school played paintball assassin
I came in last….
But I was first in line, for chicken fingers in the cafeteria
And I seized the day, like carpe diem, 
In a semester, lived a lifetime of stories
Enough to be a guest of Troy and Abed in the morning…
At Greendale, ayo we’re doing our best
At Greendale, here’s the answers to the test
At Greendale, all your credits will transfer
And there in [bad word] you’ll find the answer
verse 3:
Don’t let those doubts creep in, let some [bad word] sheepskin
Give others reason to say that you’re beneath them
We got high school quarterbacks and prom kings
We got former lawyers, and single moms, see
We got a Dean who cares, just a little too much
And he shows it with every inappropriate touch
Tell them kids at the tranny dance they’re losing their chance
B/c school doesn’t define you, no ma’am…
Yes, and, this plan, is not five years in the future
More like how will I survive the rest of my life
It’s with friends by my side, give two fives and a chest pat
Greendale is where you’re best at
And if it never works out, you can count on your study group
They got your back, like no matter what you’re going through
Just know, if you don’t like it there
You can always transfer to air conditioning repair
At Greendale, sorry we ain’t better
At Greendale, that’s why we stick together
At Greendale, all credits will  transfer
And there in [bad word] you’ll find the answer